The Tuning Forks

Posted on November 7, 2022November 7, 2022 by Clarissa Thomas

There’s a quote that says it takes four weeks for you to see a difference, 8 weeks for close friends to see a difference, and 12 weeks for the rest of the world to see a difference. This quote hones in on something that’s been on my mind.

a health coach can help you hold a high vibration

About 150% of the time (no kidding) when I have a health coaching client who is doing really well they hit an interesting roadblock. The roadblock comes because when you make changes and others notice, others think that it is now their job to give you input about this change. Usually the input comes when we change because others become uncomfortable because they liked the old you or behaviors, or because they are curious towards your success and they want the same for themselves.

What usually happens with my clients though is that they do great until people start making comments and then, when people start making comments, it makes them uncomfortable and these clients have a revert to past behaviors to soothe this discomfort. So as a health coach, working with my female clients, we have to start learning how to be uncomfortable with other people being uncomfortable and voicing that discomfort.

I don’t know if you know about a tuning fork, but when you use a tuning fork on, let’s say, a rock and hit it, the tuning fork will play a vibration/note according to that rock. If you were to take a second tuning fork and hit another rock that second tuning fork would play the note of that second rock. Now this is where things get interesting. If both of those tuning forks are playing those notes/vibrations at the same time eventually the one tuning fork will change its note to match the other tuning fork. And then they will play together.

What does this have to do with health?

When you make changes in your health you are changing your vibration. It may have been low but you have raised it with new habits and applied knowledge. You could have lost 10 pounds or are cleaning up your diet. You could have been going to the gym when you used to be very sedentary. When you hold that vibration long enough other people will notice that your vibration is different.

Everybody else in the world also holds a vibration. You could also call it a vibe or energy. When two vibrations meet and they are not on the same note, one vibration will need to change to meet the other in order to soothe the dissonance.

So the question is, who is going to change their vibration? And the second question is, how long can one hold out for the other to change?

It is a lot easier for those who are trying out a new vibration in life like becoming more healthy to drop down into their previous vibration. An example of this could be when a mom goes to wake up their kids in the morning. The mom’s happy to see her kids but her kids wake up ornery. She has tried to change her vibration by being happy but their vibration is low. So what happens? The mom drops her vibration to the kids’ vibration and starts yelling at them instead to get out of bed.

So what would have happened if the mom would have kept up her vibration? Well after a certain couple of minutes when the kids have really woken up they will probably raise their vibration to be happy and then they will continue on their morning in a happy positive way.

Here are some personal examples, because these vibration dissonances are happening all the time in our lives:

When I started my health journey I started having a protein shake everyday. My husband gave me a hard time at first saying how gross it looked, and continued in his own vibration of old habits. I held onto my new habit, and about five years later, he had a protein shake.He’s had one almost every day since.

On the flip side of that I was trying to level up my eating game this past year and went on a family vacation with my extended family. When we got to our destination together, the first meal that was offered was not something that was on my meal plan. I was so tired and worn out from traveling, and even though I knew it wasn’t on plan. I ate that meal. It caused a domino effect. The whole trip ended up with me moving back to expected vibrations because I was weak and dropped mine one time. That’s all it took. One time. I dropped my vibration down to what it used to be in many ways besides just my meal plan – from moods, to comments, to birth order roles and expectations. I’m sure you can relate to this. I am not proud of that vacation this past year.

Even after a couple of months since the trip, I don’t look at that vacation very fondly. I wasn’t true to myself and I didn’t keep promises to myself. I also didn’t hold off long enough for my family to raise their vibration because I was scared of what they would think of me or the comments that they would make.

I didn’t remember, but I want you to remember that when others comment about you, it is a direct reflection of them, not you. It is their noticing your vibration has changed and they feel that dissonance. It is their way of trying to regain control of the feelings they are having.

When you get to that point in your health journey of people making comments, be it family, friends, neighbors, etc, check into your vibration. Ask yourself if you would like to drop your vibration back down to where others will feel comfortable and your habits were the ones that didn’t get you to a good place, or would you like to keep your new vibration long enough for others to meet your vibration and for you to continue to feel proud of the work you’ve done?

That is what you are in control of. Hold that vibration.

What are ways to keep that vibration strong?

Honestly, I see the greatest strength come in numbers. Accountability with friends or a coach like me is a great way to hold strong. I meet with my clients to coach once a week and then also have check-ins. But my clients can text me anytime if it is an emergency. That is part of why you need a coach. That cheerleader and coach rooting you on and keeping your high vibration with you. Friends or other family can also do this for you, but tend to also be emotionally bias, so beware of that.

Second is to be honest with those around you. Don’t skirt about the issue. It isn’t their cooking! And even if it was, you are working with your body and mind to level up. When we state out loud what we are working on, we gain strength from new places. It is empowering.

Third, feel free to take some time. Sometimes I need to excuse myself to the bathroom to take a quick minute to check my intentions and habits. You could retreat to your room and do some breathing exercises. Putting space between the action and reaction is helpful. This time also helps you stay present and mindful.

As we head into holidays there will be lots of people who have worked really hard to change their vibration. They have new habits and new lifestyles and maybe a new shape that they are taking back to old energies. Does the term “falling off the bandwagon” ring a bell? That is losing your new vibration and dropping down to expected old ones.

If you really don’t want to come out of the holidays like that, consider setting up a free consultation with me and see if we are a good fit to coach together. I want health for you in body + mind. I am ready for you to take on this new vibration and can be that strength you need as you learn a new lifestyle and go through the learning process 🙂

Fill out the form linked below to get the coaching ball rolling. Those holidays are barreling in fast.

Yes! I want to hold a high vibe!

The Tom Brady Syndrome

Posted on November 1, 2022November 1, 2022 by Clarissa Thomas

In my personal life I have been studying a lot about loss. In the next couple months I have some big changes coming up in my life as I have known it. I have felt such angst and stress about choosing these changes and implementing them that they have caused a lack of sleep and an inability to function well as a mother and coach.

For one thing, these future changes are my choice instead of something that is forced and two, I have never really done well with change. whenever we would go on an extended break or Holiday from school like Christmas, the first week back of school I would always get sick. This happened a lot in college. When the semesters changed and my routine needed to change, my body would get some sort of cold or flu, and I’d be down for the count and miss days of school. Even though I’m not in school now, whenever there are big changes or big events in my life or family life, I ramp up to them and then afterwards I get sick either mentally or physically.

On a side note, doesn’t this example show that our mental state can affect our physical state. More to come on those thoughts in an article soon.

So with me loving routine these changes have been ridiculously difficult to fathom and make. Therefore I have taken it to some of the doctors that I work with to talk to them about which changes and how much change I need to be able to heal and balance that with keeping myself mentally happy. I love where I’m at right now, but I recognize that some change is good and change will allow me to grow but also heal some health issues I am experiencing.

As I have talked with professionals about these changes my therapist brought to light a syndrome that we want to call the Tom Brady syndrome. It’s something I want to share with you today because it rang so true and felt was easily relatable.

mental health and coaching the mind — training the mind

I’m going to assume that you know who Tom Brady is and if you don’t go and Google him. In a very short sentence he, being an amazing football player, retired from football and after a short time unretired from football and went back into the game.

As a top football player and a high-performance achiever I can only understand why he went back to football. He loves the dopamine rush and the 100% for filament that he gets from winning a game and being the top performer in his industry and Sport. One can only understand that retiring from that was a severe loss for him and probably caused mental sadness and emotions that he wasn’t used to having because he was so used to all the good emotions that he experienced while playing football and winning.

Interestingly enough, what has happened since he has gone back to the game are also interesting losses. his wife and he have gotten a divorce. His wife was his biggest fan and was a key contributor to his success as a football player. For example, she monitored every little bit of food that went into his mouth so that he was fueled properly and also was in charge of making sure he had boundaries so he could recover.Something else that has happened since coming back to the game, he’s losing.

So I want to discuss 3 points about the Tom Brady syndrome that you can see in what Tom Brady is going through right now.

The Tank

The first point is called the tank. The tank is where a professional is at the top of their career and due to age, injury, circumstances or other professionals coming into the same industry, etc, this professional starts to tank in their success rate and is not at the top of their game or career anymore.

With Tom Brady coming back out of retirement and losing all of these games is showing that he is starting to tank.

So the question for you is: should Tom Brady finish his career of football at the high or should he continue in football as he tanks and finish at a low? What do you think that would do to his mental health as well as the story that people will tell about him for years to come?

The next question there would be where are you at and your career? Do you think you have reached your Peak do you think you still have room to grow or do you think you are in the tank?

I have noticed in my personal Journey that due to the injuries and health problems I’m experiencing, I am in the tank. I have not been able to give what I used to be able to give and it has been discouraging and sad. I appreciated the advice that I received to not tank fully and exit at the low but to exit at the high.Honestly I think when we exit at a high we can look back with fond memories and there is closure.

The Acceptance

The second point is called acceptance. The acceptance is the concept that after we leave or turn away from our original trajectory and goal we might experience loss in the manner that whatever we do instead might not be as fulfilling as the thing we did first.

For Tom Brady, he probably should go out and buy a football team. That’s the closest thing that he could do to recreate the happiness that he experienced as the football player. However he probably will only be able to receive 90% of his fulfillment back compared to the 100% that he might have gotten as a player himself. That is part of loss.

It is good for us to recognize that in Los we may not be able to get back to the hundred percent fulfillment that we had. Very rarely will somebody experience something that is better than what they were originally doing when they were at the top of their game.

If you are aware of this you would be grasping for straws and probably looking outside of yourself for inner peace. Just like Tom Brady coming back out of retirement. He probably couldn’t find something that would fulfill him just as much as playing football did and he didn’t know how to handle that and sit with that. Then he has the consequence of losing his wife now because he chose to come back out of retirement and that is not what she wanted or was told would happen.

For me, I don’t know what is coming next after my changes but I do appreciate this concept. I used to dance ballroom at BYU and competed professionally and was doing very well. I stopped dancing because my body could not get pregnant due to how much physical work I was putting in to dance every day. When I stopped I experienced a severe depression for a long time. For years I couldn’t even watch the progress of my fellow dancers because I knew where I “should have been” in the dance world. I don’t think anything I have done in the dance realm since has been as fulfilling as being a competitor on the dance floor and winning. It still hurts 13 years later and now having an understanding that fulfillment might not reach capacity has helped me release the pain because of those expectations being replaced with acceptance.

The Vacuum

The final concept of the Tom Brady syndrome is the vacuum. And on a side note, I’m grateful for spell check, because I still don’t know how to spell vacuum without help. LOL.

The vacuum is where when you take something out of your life it will put a force into the universe that will pull something new into that empty space.

Tom Brady had a really big empty space because he had a very big, successful, Limelight career. Again oh, he didn’t have the tools nor the patience to wait for something else to come along to fill that space.

Along with that I feel like if we understand that there will be a vacuum we can be looking for opportunities and we can recognize that some opportunities will be good ones and some will be bad ones or destructive ones that will not help us.

When covid shut my job down as a group fitness instructor there was a big loss there. I was tumbled into this space that created a vacuum and needed to be filled. Some of the things that filled that space were good and I’ll talk about those in a second, but some of them were not so good. I didn’t eat well. I lost a lot of my discipline and my hope for the future. In fact, I think that I am still recovering from what that vacuum brought to me and what I chose. Now like I said, some of those opportunities were good ones. I ended up taking clients virtually during covid and really laid a good foundation to be a personal trainer and nutrition coach online. if it weren’t for covid and that loss I would not have had that space replaced.

Right now I don’t know what is going to fill the space from the loss that I am going to incur in the next couple of months. I was feeling anxious about that. There are a lot of what-ifs. But I am finding that because of the awareness that there is a vacuum I am handling the unknown a lot better. In fact, there’s a part of me that is really looking forward to what might open up for me in opportunities that are constructive and helpful to me and the next season of My Life.

So finishing up, let’s review the Tom Brady syndrome. The Tom Brady syndrome has three main facets. The first facet is the tank, the second is the acceptance, And the third is the vacuum.

Maybe you can look back on a couple of your losses and think about these three aspects. Then, being aware of these three aspects when you go into a new loss, which will happen because we are all mortal and human, maybe, because you have awareness of them you will be able to more gracefully and strongly handle your next loss in a way that will help you come out of that more refined and better.

At least that is my hope because I am seeing that work in my own life.

The Break Up with Sugar Part 2

Posted on January 22, 2021January 22, 2021 by Clarissa Thomas

After posting the last post, I was surprised and happy to hear how this resonated with so many of you. Breaking up with sugar was something you have either thought about or are putting into practice. I did, however, get some questions that I would like to answer in this post, the second in the Breakup with Sugar Series.

First question I had gotten. What do you define as sugar?

I think how this “breakup” can be defined is mainly left up to who is choosing how to break up. It could be a break up where you go pretty much “KETO” eating only proteins and fats with minimal veggies and fruits. Or it could go to only candy and the “breakup” isn’t necessarily about ALL sugars. As your coach I would ask you how you want that to look like for you right now. What can you leave out that won’t “rock your world” or make you feel “deprived” because if you feel that way, your choice isn’t a lifestyle you can sustain.

Sugars are found in pretty much everything we eat. Not only are we bombarded with sweets (cookies, cakes, candy, sodas, chocolates, ice creams, etc) but then there are ADDED sugars in SO many items in the grocery store (like 99% of grocery items). But there are also natural sugars found in anything with a carbohydrate – from breads to fruits to even veggies because carbohydrates are essentially sugars.

However, our bodies use different kinds of sugars in different ways. So they may all be calories (another word for energy) but the different sugars will leave different results. An oreo is going to affect your body differently than a pear.

Sugar from the Oxford Dictionary is defined as:

noun

a sweet crystalline substance obtained from various plants, especially sugar cane and sugar beet, consisting essentially of sucrose, and used as a sweetener in food and drink.

Our bodies are GEARED for sugar – it was a mechanism for survival before the years and technological advancements in food. But with these advancements, we aren’t in life threatening danger anymore. In fact, humans eat about 700 more calories a day than they did 60 years ago. But also our obesity rate has risen exponentially during that same time. Why? Because of what we are choosing to put in our bodies. Yes, you are in charge.

Why do we love sugar so much outside of survival?

It makes food taste good – most processed foods HAVE to add in sugar (and salt/sodium) to make the food they processed taste good to our pallet
It is quick energy
It is a coping mechanism due to its chemical reaction to our brains = it gives us comfort when in distress
It is everywhere and inexpensive

There are simple and complex carbs/sugars…. Those that hit your bloodstream really fast and those that hit it slower. When sugars hit hard and fast, your blood sugar rises quickly, you get a severe dopamine hit to the pleasure center of the brain, insulin is released to cope and then everything drops steeply to levels below where you started, leaving you low energy, depressed, and not satisfied. When you eat a complex carb the spike and hits are less steep and so is the drop. You also tend to stay heightened for longer before your blood sugar drops. Essentially it takes your body longer to digest the complex carbs.

Coming back to my breakup, I have chosen to define sugar as – all “junk foods or calorie condensed foods in the sweet categories” and as much added sugars as possible are out. With the exception (because moderation in all things) of when my girls bake on the weekend, I can have one serving if I desire.

Your choice of breakup may look different and that’s okay. I picked these guidelines for a couple of reasons, both personally and scientifically… When your diet consists of too many sugars, testosterone (a hormone) rises and can cause weight gain, hair loss or growth in unwanted areas, and anxiety. Estrogen also rises and progesterone (also hormones) can drop which is called Estrogen dominance and can lead to infertility, PMS symptoms, breast tenderness and irritability. Over time the amount of insulin and sugar pulsing through your veins trying to level eachother out gets exhausted and in excess and can cause massive inflammation – which ALL chronic diseases (arthritis, cancer, diabetes, asthma, heart disease, mood disorders, etc) are caused by inflammation.

With PMDD I have found that because I am SO sensitive to normal hormonal changes even a small amount of sugar effects will derail my body and mental health for a long time. If I eat, let’s say, a bowl of ice cream (because who ever eats just a scoop), not only will I have a massive headache, but angry digestive issues from stomach all through the intestines from inflammation and I will also get really foggy in my thinking, less emotionally regulated, and I tend to slip into negative thought patterns really fast. If I have too much sugar (which usually happens if I start with one piece, I eat a lot more) my limbs will even buzz with almost a jittery feeling. I sleep awful and can have body dysmorphia too.

And these things all can happen within an hour of a dessert that has too much for my body. And effects can be lasting long after the sugar rush dies down.

If I were to eat simple sugars/carbs during my luteal phase (the week before my period) my PMDD and sugar buzz are the perfect storm to crash my ship into a million pieces and my PMDD symptoms can be severe and life threatening.

What is so crazy and may be scientific or psychological, but it is truly real for me, I do not get these effects from complex carbs – berries, rice, sweet potatoes, whole grains, veggies, other fruits. So I truly do agree with the studies saying different sugars can affect our bodies differently.

I feel good when I eat right for MY body’s needs today. Period.

So as much as possible, I am saying “nope” to them. However, I mentioned my girls baking. I think that life still needs to be full of memories and making good ones can get us through the bad days. We have decided as a family that if we are going to have sweets, it needs to be something we make from scratch and with love.

***TIP: When coaching my nutrition clients we talk about how if you are going to eat something sweetened – whether that’s yogurt or pasta sauce or cake – it is ALWAYS better to add your own sugar than let a company add it for you. #1 you are in control #2 you can decide what that sweetener is – you could add honey instead of table sugar #3 you know what is going into your food.

In my next post I am going to talk about how to look for sugars (education) and ways to change your food choices (application).

As with all things, we are creating an awareness through these posts and not rigid rules. Once you create awareness, you will be able to look clearly at your food choices and start to gain questions and curiosity on what your body needs. As with all my clients, take what rings true to you and what sparks the “I need to add that in/take that out” promptings and use them to better your life. One little step at a time. It is a process as always.

A way you can do that is to make a list of foods that you eat that make you feel good when you eat them… truly energized and content, and food that make you feel guilty or “buzzed” for lack of a better word. I think we all know what those are for us when we are honest. Just keeping a postit note on the fridge and jotting something down after you eat it can help too.

***We do not claim to be a doctor or anything of the like. This document is for educational and journaling purposes only. Any action taken by the reader is their sole responsibility and should be done with discretion. No claim can be made against Adagio FIT or its employees. If you ever have any questions, take them to your primary care doctor.***

20 BODY & MIND TOOLS TO OVERCOME ANXIETY

Posted on December 8, 2020December 8, 2020 by Clarissa Thomas

These tools are taken from Emiliya Zhivotovskaya. I first heard of these while I was mowing my lawn and had to stop, run in the house and spent the next 30 minutes writing furiously to take notes of each of these tools. Then I found them on her site, much better explained and written out. You can learn more from the website below.

I find that I like the body ones and then can move on to the mind tools. With all my studies on anxiety, I felt this finally helped a more broad population, like me, that feels anxiety really fast and really hard.

https://theflourishingcenter.com/20tools/

The following is written by: Emiliya Zhivotovskaya but simplified slightly for reading purposes.

BODY TOOLS:

1. EXERCISE

There are thousands of research studies that support the impact of exercise in completing the stress cycle. Engaging your muscles use up the chemicals that your body releases. A 2014 study by Wegner et al., aggregated data of over 37 meta-analyses and research on 42,264 people and identified that exercise made a significant impact on anxiety.

Cardiovascular exercise like running is great as our evolutionary ancestors were often running from something when they were anxious. But, if you don’t have anywhere to run to escape the tiger in your mind, exercises such as progressive muscle relaxation can work too. Tense all of your muscles and hold for a slow count of ten and then relaxing.

2. TOUCH

Whether you’re petting an animal or receiving a hug… touch releases oxytocin. This feel good chemical is responsible for bonding, connection and a sense of trust.

3. SELF-HAVENING

Havening is a psycho-sensory therapy that utilizes physical touch to down-regulate the nervous system.

4. BUTTERFLY TAP

This is one of my favorite techniques for creating calm utilizing bilateral stimulation of the brain. This is the use of visual, auditory, or tactile external stimuli occurring in a rhythmic side-to-side pattern which if frequently used as a core element of eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy.

5. TAPPING & EFT

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also known as tapping, is a novel treatment of stress related conditions using a step by step process of self-stimulating acupressure points throughout the body while repeating a statement. While research on EFT is in it’s infancy, the data is promising and the self-reported uses and impact is strong, including this research summary Medical News Today which offers the EFT steps, along with a summary of the most recent research.

6. FORWARD FOLDING

Benefit from the impact of gravity on blood flow to slow your beating heart with forward fold poses. Consider some of these simple possess for 5-7 breathes. Inhale and fill your body with breath. Exhale slowly and mindfully ease into the stretch.

7. SING, CHANT OR HUM

The vagus nerve passes through by the vocal cords and the inner ear and the vibrations of humming is a free and easy way to influence your nervous system states. In particular, chanting the sound “OM” or anything with a “mmm” sound stimulates the vagus nerve as it is connected to the vocal cords. Consider the bumble breathe (bhramari), it’s one of my favorites. The first time I ever did bhramari in yoga class, was also the first time I had ever experienced a “silent mind.” (Even though it only lasted 2 seconds :-).

8. WATER THERAPY

As water flows, the crashing of water particles creates negative ions which when inhaled and felt on our skin has been shown to lift mood and decrease stress. And what’s better than listening to the sound of running water? Getting in! A 2018 study by Goto and colleagues examined the impact of showering versus bathing on the well-being of 38 participants. They found that while both are beneficial, bathing led to significantly lower stress, tension-anxiety, anger-hostility, and depression-dejection. According to the authors, “Immersion bathing, but not shower bathing, exerts hyperthermic action that induces increased blood flow and metabolic waste elimination, which may afford physical refreshment. Immersion bathing should improve both physical and emotional aspects of quality of life.”

9. BREATHING

Breathing is the only autonomic function that you have direct control over. Every inhale stimulates your sympathetic nervous system, your body’s gas pedal. Every exhale stimulates your parasympathetic nervous system. Use these techniques to drive the car of your body. To decrease the experience of anxiety and stress, make your exhale longer than your inhale. To stimulate the body, make your inhale significantly longer than you’re exhale. To relax the body, make your exhale significantly longer than your inhale.

The simplest and safest way to start is to notice your breath and count what a natural breath cycle feels like. Then try to match the length of your inhale and exhale. Then, to create calm, keep breathing with your inhale count the same but slowly extend your exhale count until the exhale is twice as long as your inhale.

Here are the many ways that breathing impacts your mind-body health:

10. SOFT BELLY BREATHING

The vagus nerve is one of the primary nerves of the relaxation response. It innervates the most in the stomach region. When you practice abdominal breathing you slow the breath down and relax the muscles around your stomach, you further stimulate the vagus nerve.

MIND TOOLS:

1. CATCH THE CHATTER

Set a timer to go off. When it does, write down your thoughts. Knowing what types of thoughts you’re working with will give you greater mastery over the process below. You may notice that there are a handful of core worries that you have and everything else is on loop.

2. TALKBACK TO THE THOUGHTS

Reminder yourself that you are not your thoughts. You are not worried. You are you, having the experience of worry. Reperceiving is defined as the ability to “disidentify from the contents of consciousness (i.e., one’s thoughts) and view moment-by-moment experience with greater clarity and objectivity” (Shapiro et al., 2006, p. 377). Mindfully witnessing your thoughts helps you separate yourself from the thinker.

3. THANK YOUR PROTECTIVE BRAIN

Instead of wrestling your thoughts, recognize that they are trying to protect you. Appreciate your worrying mind doesn’tWhamean you have to give in to the thoughts. Remember that worrying interrupts long-term problem solving. If there is actual threat, then what you need is problem solving and action. Worry makes you want to run away instead of leaning and doing something about it.

4. MANAGE YOUR “WHAT IFS”

Your neo-cortex is the human, rational thinking part of your brain. It is the part of your brain that has the capacity to use reason and logic to make decisions about the future. Your emotional limbic system in your brain, is the part of our brain that is wired for survival. In a relaxed state, the emotional brain is aware of “what is happening” and the rational brain is capable of planning into the future of “what will happen” with “what if” scenarios. When you’re in threat mode your worrying brain decides it should be responsible for “What Iffing”. It does so with worst case scenario thoughts and makes you think it’s real. Remember, the emotional brain treats the “what ifs” as though they are happening now.

5. DESIGNATE WORRY TIME

Setting aside time to worry creates a container. I suggest picking a daily time and writing for at least 15-20 minutes. Most people find they max out around 5-10 minutes. Then when you’re brain offers worries at other times throughout the day, remind it that it can wait till the next time.

6. “I’VE HANDLED IT BEFORE. I’LL HANDLE IT.”

7. WORST CASE, BEST CASE, MOST LIKELY

Check out the step-by-step process at GoZen.com

8. MINDFULNESS

9. 5 SENSES & NOUNS

10. CERTAINTY ANCHORS

Check out Jonathan Field’s description of the Certainty Anchors and how to use them to find calm in a stormy world. Use these anchors to center you and calm the brain. Create rituals that bring meaning to the simple actions of day to day life.

Strategies to Breakthrough PMDD Luteal Phase Episodes + Addictions

Posted on December 2, 2020December 2, 2020 by Clarissa Thomas

***We do not claim to be a doctor or anything of the like. This document is for educational purposes only. Any action taken by the reader is their sole responsibility and should be done with discretion. No claim can be made against Adagio FIT or its employees. If you ever have any questions, take them to your primary care doctor.***

There is a fine balance between what is in my heart that I want to share and what you need for your journey. I question and ponder until those two overlap and can share that overlap.

Here’s my overlap today…

Women with PMDD go through a point each month in which behaviors are very “addict” like. What does this mean?

Well, our frontal lobe is the rational decision making and emotional regulation area of our brain. During PMDD episodes (usually around days 13-15 and 23-28 or a female cycle) the frontal lobe checks out. The cause is unknown to why this happens but it is like neurotransmitters to not make it past that synapse. Either way, it happens and the frontal lobe becomes a mass of lazy tissue for lack of a better explanation.

Because of this, our Limbic system then takes over or at least most to solo operation mode… this is the emotion and hormone driven area of the brain (to simplify). That need for a dopamine hit overrides everything.

This can lead, as I am sure you can deduct already, to behaviors and decisions that aren’t in line with a true, whole self. Usually compulsiveness in myriads of ways – from emotional outbursts to binge eating of junk foods to frantic cleaning of house and home to overspending. It has been related to me like someone being addicted to drugs, alcohol or pronography. Ever had those insatiable cravings for anything? Oreos? Oh the whole sleeve? Oh just one more? Ugh, might as well finish the whole package. Sound familiar?

Now, for me, I really dislike being placed with those kinds of people. Why? I am not addicted to anything via choices I made and I didn’t choose to have PMDD, but being honest, my actions, left unchecked, will show the same behaviors 100%.

In the Book of Mormon (a book of scripture in my religion), there is a passage that says “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” Ether 12:27

Why do we have weakness? Weakness requires us to reach out to other people, rely on a higher being/plan, and to help us grow into our full, truest self. Not that I want to have a weakness or anything. I am super independent, full of determination, and excellence… those don’t line up with being weak in any area.

But having weakness requires us to surrender and accept. To work with it, not against it. PMDD won’t magically disappear as I prayed for so long.

How do I, and you, work with PMDD?

I tell you, it is SO painful to come out on the other side of a PMDD week and realize you have to start back at square one and even to deal with the consequences of my simply stupid choices — like the stomach ache, 5lbs, lethargy and bloat from ALL the sweets I could get my hands on. Yikes. So as much as I don’t want to, I do need a plan to manage symptoms. So do you!

A successful plan requires three things —

Help
Spirituality
Strategies

First, help.

Help is hard. Yep. Mic drop. LOL.

Ask for help from trusted sources – family, friends, therapist, doctors, etc.

Having a conversation with my hubby and kids and laying out the help I needed from them was not easy the first time. In fact, my hubby and I went to bed on opposite sides that first time. But with practice, it has become routine and a bit easier at times. I have more courage through taking accountability instead of avoiding and expecting.

Every month before my luteal phase I tell them next week I won’t feel good. Then I ask my kids and hubby for help to keep things extra clean, make dinners, and pretty much take care of eachother. Also, that instead of always relying on mom, there is a dad home (especially on weekends).

I’ve also asked friends to take my kids for a couple of hours to allow me to have quiet time and peace. And, yes, I have asked technology to give me some quiet time too 🙂 Either way, asking can be hard but if you don’t ask, the answer is always NO.

Second is spirituality. Another word could be the value of faith. This is a belief that there is a plan for you and that there are powers or a being who can see the whole picture. That all will workout for your good. You can find this helpful by connecting to those powers. That may be yoga, scripture reading, meditation, getting out in the mountains, etc.

Finally we hit strategies. This gets the biggest portion from me today. Probably because it is what I am working on.

You MUST plan and prepare these strategies BEFORE you hit your PMDD days or any sort of issue you want to work on, right? This is so applicable to more than just PMDD.

Get out a piece of paper and fill out the following strategies. I have included some prompt questions and examples to get you thinking.

Goals
1. Make a list of goals you want to accomplish when you come out of your week or past your trigger time. Examples could be:
  1. Staying the same weight
  2. Not going into CC debt
  3. Staying off of social media
Restriction Strategies
1. These are strategies of abstinence. Not even one. Nope. Not you.
2. What do you need to remove from your vision and mind?
3. What are your triggers?
  1. Credit card autofill?
  2. Leftover Halloween Candy?
  3. The weekly cookie shop email?
  4. Walking into the kitchen?
Replacement Strategies
1. What can you allow yourself instead?
2. What behaviors does your higher self implement when the days are good?
3. What can you do to be productive and useful to give you a sense of purpose?
  1. Call 4 friends
  2. Pre-packaged salads
  3. Some fresh berries for a snack
  4. A new book or class online for the time
  5. More exercise
  6. Walking on the treadmill while watching a movie
Mindset Strategies
1. Cravings of any kind can narrow your focus to all that you don’t have.
2. How can you broaden your view to bring peace and settling?
  1. Any practice of gratitude
  2. Move to what you have and not what you lack
  3. Look at good times in your life — chatbooks, phone images, etc?
Structure Strategies
1. Some people need to have structure to be able to keep their thinking clear. So weekends with a different schedule can put a wedge in your ability to stay true to your goals.
2. What rituals and routines help you feel accomplished at the end of the day?
  1. Making your bed
  2. Exercising
  3. Getting ALL cleaned up
  4. A good breakfast for yourself
3. I asked my hubby to not plan anything or ask anything of me on Saturdays until noon. This allows me to accomplish what my mind and body need to feel even just a bit more focused and better.

This paper is now your plan and now you can write out the next things you need to do in a preparation list.

This is my general list for each month and I tweak where needed.

Preparations:

Remind my family days in advance and ask for help where needed
Set goals for the week
Tell my family those goals
Have them check in with me often to see if I am staying strong
Allow them to remind me about my goals
Meal plan and prep snack boxes before day 23
Find a good book or find a class to take
Plan an artistic project to undertake

As you can kind of see, you want to create a space that you feel productive, useful, contributive, and peaceful during the luteal phase. You want to come out not needing to pick up shattered pieces and you want to feel dignified and accomplished that you made it through.

This may take practice to find what works and what balance you need for your family circumstances…. I mean, I’d like to just go to a resort for 5 days a month and have my own chef. But that isn’t in our cards right now…

This takes accountability and action NOW instead of waiting. It takes communication and preparation. It is hard work but really worth it. It may save your marriage, your relationships with your kids, and especially with yourself.

If you have any questions about this or would like to sort this out with help, I am happy to schedule a coaching call with you. Shoot me an inquiry at https://adagiofit.com/trainwithme/contact-us/

Don’t Be the Mantle Piece

Posted on November 20, 2020November 20, 2020 by Clarissa Thomas

While working out today I listened to a podcast (what’s new) about art. The speaker was talking about how much art/visuals influence our lives and our perceptions about reality.

He talked about how that can be good or bad for us. But something particular struck me and then shifted my whole perspective on what he was saying. Hear me out and I will link below to the podcast if you want to listen to it.

He talked about how we portray events in art as our mind pictures them and not what really happened. That this can then distort others idea of what really happened. He specifically talks about President Washington praying in Heisman Trophy stance (you know what I am talking about) and how there isn’t really evidence that he even prayed at all… just that he relied on God. Not a bad thing to portray but maybe not the truthful moment.

So the speaker then talked about how most art that is painted is “mantle worthy.” That art is made to show the glorious and romanticism so that good feelings are evoked. So the artist in the podcast took on a particular challenge of painting non-mantle pieces. That there is SO much “messy middle” (to quote Brene Brown) that we don’t see. That because we don’t see the messy middle, as humans, we get the notion that we should be experiencing the glorious big. But in reality 99% of the time, there is no BIG and clear, there is mess and muck and perseverance and struggle.

While this was being talked about, I felt a very strong impression that I needed to create a place where there is not mantle worthy work. That I needed to show the real, the messy, the struggle.

As I was making my bed yesterday (about the ONLY thing in life I am consistent with 99% of the time, promise), I was crying because I am SO tired of trying to reach goals I see others have set as successful marks and not reaching them.. That I am tired of not loving who I am already (inside and out) and always trying for more. “What a waste of my life” was my thought. I am tired of not being enough. I am tired of feeling like I have to be perfect to share me because then I am not sharing at all.

My therapist told me the other month that I will never be enough. (It was a shock and kind of painful to hear actually). But he explained that because I am human, these flaws won’t ever go away, meaning I won’t ever be mantle worthy. So why am I trying to live in perfection? Ugh, so true and now I am working hard to shift that paradigm by questioning and being vulnerable.

Do I really want to be placed on a mantle to gather dust and have all admire me? Honestly, sometimes the answer is yes. It seems like that would be a fantastic resting place and admiration feels good. Also, it is what our society consistently and bombarding shows as success. But most of the time, no I don’t want to be left on the mantle. I LOVE the struggle. I love being among and with others in it, not above or beyond. I love showing people that life is given to LIVE and grow and struggle, not to rest. Gotta fight that mentality we are so often portrayed and told about.

So this is going to become the place, mixed with articles on how to create health of course, but I want to show how there is no arrival upon the mantle… for any of us.

This will be hard for me! This may be hard for you! I go through some pretty traumatic things with my mental illness. You are welcome to skip those posts, but someday you may come in contact with someone who needs to know they aren’t alone in the messy middle and you can point them to my mess and they can then know how to find the beauty in their own.

The podcast I was listening to is below. Please know that it is Christain based and shares religious views but can be wonderful for all to listen to.

Listen Here

#31 – Applying the Thought Model

Posted on November 20, 2018November 8, 2018 by Clarissa Thomas

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Last episode, #30, we introduced you to the Thought Model CTFAR as seen here:

You will want to listen to that episode before hitting this one so you know about the ins and outs of each of the 5 areas in the model. Because in this episode we work on how to apply this model and then change it to get the results in your life.

We’d love to dive deeper with you into this model. We offer a 30 min no pressure mini coaching session to anyone interested in changing their thoughts to get better results! Click below to sign up and get contacted on how and when.

#30 – Rewrite Your Thoughts

Posted on November 13, 2018November 8, 2018 by Clarissa Thomas

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Looking for specific results in your life or getting results you aren’t satisfied with? You’ll definitely want to listen to this podcast. We are discussing the model from Brooke Castillo that I use in my coaching. It truly is the magic sauce to every problem or result you want to have. CTFAR for the WIN! Listen to learn more.

We talk about an emotion wheel during this cast. Click below to get the free download. Like I said in the podcast, I love to use this to decode what I am really feeling and I use it for my kids too!

Thank you for listening. Because of you, we keep this podcast up and running. We would love to know what you think about the podcast and you can share that with us below in the comments.

#29 – Fence Posts

Posted on November 6, 2018October 30, 2018 by Clarissa Thomas

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Along with the last episode we add another tool for you to help create and live a life you love. Today we are talking about fence posts. Want to know how this all ties in? Give it a listen below.

We love conversation and comments, and personally respond to each one I receive. I would love to know about my listeners and why you are listening. Drop me a comment where and how you are listening.

And if you want more of what we offer to increase your tools to manage and see life, sign up for our weekly wisdom right on our homepage. Click below!

#28 – What’s Your Focus

Posted on October 30, 2018 by Clarissa Thomas

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

We ask the questions, what are you choosing to see or unsee? Is it what you’d like to see in your life? Do you see lots of negative in your life? Did you know the good stuff is already there and you can easily see it with a simple shift in your gaze? We teach you how on today’s podcast.

We are diving into our focus with a great football test my girls and I saw on a show the other night. A good example of it can be found by clicking here. Our brain is extremely smart and will only see what is important. It is wired to forget or unsee what isn’t. The best part? You get to choose what you want to see!

Our courses are open for enrollment! We have some great individual ones open in personal training and in life coaching. Check us out by clicking below and thanks for joining us today! We are happy to answer and questions or comments you may have. Leave them below and give us a rating on itunes too 🙂 Thanks!