Changing behaviors is difficult. Many barriers to change exist in both physical and mental paths. All individuals have their own composition of fear, education, environment, social settings, and time constraints that create different outcomes and building blocks for the same problems.
Precontemplation – At this stage, an individual is not yet aware or is unwilling to accept that a change is needed. They are likely hanging on to their current behaviors and have not yet found intrinsic motivation to change but may have pressure from other sources to make change.
Contemplation – The client has started to become aware that a change is needed, but they are struggling with the pros and cons of doing so, the amount of effort that may be required of them, or what they may have to sacrifice to see change.
Preparation – This is the stage where serious consideration starts to take place and even a desire to begin taking steps to make change. At this point, they are starting to think about what they can do to bring about change but may still be struggling with knowing where to begin. The desire for change is there.
Action – Here they start taking physical action, moving beyond the stages of mental effort to actually taking steps to implement the changes that, until this point, have only been considerations. For many, this will be the most difficult stage as it is the “first step,” so to speak, and where they will have to put forth the greatest commitment to keep momentum.
Maintenance – At this point, the client has been consistent with their new behaviors for at least 6 months (Rubak et al., 2005) and it is becoming an integrated part of their lifestyle. Getting here does not mean they will stay here, though, and, if they have not been focused on a sustainable approach, they are still at risk of relapsing to old behaviors.
One of my favorite summer events is taking a boat out to the middle of a lake, turning it off, and just sunning on the back bench. I love the feeling of the boat gently rocking in the waves, the hot, sun-warmed vinyl from beneath my body, and the intensity of the Utah sun beating down from above.
Photo by Ahmed Zayan
Can you relate to this peaceful feeling?
Unfortunately, this moment of peace always has an ending.
I remember at a lake here in Utah we had stopped the boat. After resting for a while I sat up only to find our boat was mere feet from a rocky shoreline. From past experiences (*cough cough*), I knew the boat, being that close to the shore, was in a red zone. It was going to be a huge risk to start the motor and the propeller without a rock mangling it and therefore hindering our ability to get to the dock. We were in a bad place.
It took a lot of effort and teamwork to get the boat away from the rocks, start it up on a prayer, and head away from danger.
I’ve thought about this experience a lot and have really built a beautiful analogy from it relating to whole health that I want to offer you today.
As humans, we are wired for the desire to find and accrue peace. Those moments of weightless peace on the boat? Yeah, we seek that out constantly. Effortlessness that comes easy. Haven’t you heard so many people say, “it seems so easy for ‘so and so’ to lose weight,” or, “stay constant,” or, “be able to eat anything they want and not gain weight.”
So we are searching for those moments where we can turn off the boat and relax in the Sun so to speak, but if we do that we tend to slowly drift towards red zones. For example, if I don’t track the foods that I eat I have a tendency to just take one bite or just one more piece of chocolate and the next thing I know after a couple days or weeks, I have lost complete control of my healthy eating. Same thing goes with missing exercise or your journal and meditation for the day.
The effort it takes to get away from that red zone is a lot and usually cannot be completed without members of a team in your boat. Now I’ll come back to your team in a second but I want to point that out. In your help red zones what does it take to get out of that zone? In my example it could be that I go through my kitchen and throw out everything that could cause me to overeat; or it could look like menu planning for the week and then putting that into an app.
Once you pull away enough from that Red Zone you can turn on the motor and really make some progress ( this might look like those first initial 5 lb that you lose or the ability to work out 5 days or 6 days in a week). The next question would be where are you headed next? That new destination is just like when we make goals.
When We choose to make goals we choose to move into the neighborhood of success and failure. Success and failure live next to each other. How does this relate to our boat?
It seems to me that when I have been on a boat heading for a destination it never fails that there’s some sort of friction that comes upon me. It’s to be expected. That friction could look like waves, other boats, wind, rocks, not quite knowing where we’re going, or even disagreement within my boat. But it is bound to happen.
When you make a goal you Essentially turn on the motor of your boat and head towards that goal. Those obstacles and frictions that come up will come up because you are trying to go somewhere. They make you work harder than just floating with the motor off. Sometimes you might lose sight of your goal. But if you are headed in the right direction with the right behaviors you will resurface so to speak and find her goal again.
Ironically enough when I’m talking to my clients I find that when we set a goal we tend to expect that it will be effortless or it is effortless while we turn our boat around and get it started in the first 10-15 ft but then after that it becomes harder.
But it is the friction actually allows us to make progress. If our boat was in the air in the prop was going at full speed you wouldn’t go anywhere. We need that water we need those waves in order to get us movement.
Now onto the next idea that I wanted to come back 2 was about the crew in your boat. Who do you want in your boat? Who will get you or help get you to your destination safely, more efficiently? either out of their previous experience or their skill set to help you man the boat. we want a good team on our side..
Two weeks ago when I talked to my client about this exact analogy I asked her who she wanted in her boat. She talked about her husband who supported her unconditionally in her goals. She talked about having me as her coach in the boat. And then she also talked about a woman who is a friend that she looks up to. So it wasn’t necessarily somebody who had skills but it was somebody she aspired to be like and be friends with; who could give her courage when the waters got rough.
In your boat it could look like a doctor, it could look like a therapist, family, friends, colleagues, boss, a lady down the street, somebody who always has your back, or somebody who can help you think rationally as well.
We could continue to find parallels with this analogy, so if you discover one for yourself, consider sharing it below. However, to come full circle with the final points of this analogy…
We tend to go easy and want to turn off our boats, but when we do we drift without control into Red zones.
When we make goals we essentially are turning on the motor of our boat and we will need friction in order to make progress.
The crew inside your boat will make or break your ability to reach your mile marker goal
So my question to you today is: What areas of your health are you floating with the motor off and, unbeknownst to you, heading for a red zone?
As a personal trainer, nutrition coach, and behavioral help coach I get in the boat with you. I help you have awareness of where you are on the lake and, As you make help goals, help you know how to navigate the friction will be ahead. We work together to be able to man your boat.
If this is something that has sparked some thoughtfulness in you, consider sharing it with a friend or family member and consider setting up a free consultation with me to see if we will be the right crew together to reach your new destination. I’d be honored to work with you.
I’m back and feeling fabulously ready to take on a new season of podcasts! I have a lot of amazing things planned for you this fall and am bursting at the seams to share it. So without further ado, your first fall podcast – behavior change.
“Nothing changes if nothing changes”
We are chatting about 6 factors that play into changing our behavior – like social, environmental, and mental factors. All of them super important but number 6 is the best one and it can make all the difference in your journey.
If you are wanting to change but can’t seem to get it to stick, these factors could be why that goal just isn’t happening or that routine is just slipping away.
After you listen, leave us some feedback right below here in our show notes! We’d love to start a conversation. Also, I mentioned in the podcast about a free mini session… those sign ups are in the link below!
Comparing is a dangerous game. Did you know we have a choice if we want to play. However, most of us get in the habit of comparing and we do it unconsciously.
In this podcast we are talking about comparison and bringing ourselves to awareness that we probably do it without thinking. When we become aware of our habit in comparing, then we are able to make a conscious choice if we want to engage.
I have heard many times in the past to choose not to engage in comparing. BUT you can choose to compare. As long as you compare fairly. When you compare fairly it takes a lot of the danger out of the game.
How do you do that – comparing fairly? Listen in below for the tools that I give for going through this process.
SHOW NOTES:
I am putting together Q&A for another podcast coming up in July. I’d love if you have any questions about comparing or any other subject we’ve talked about here on the podcast that you submit them below in the comments or you can email me at clarissa@adagiofit.com. I’d love to hear from you.
Comparing is a dangerous game. Did you know we have a choice if we want to play. However, most of us get in the habit of comparing and we do it unconsciously.