Ultimately, Confidence is the belief in you that you can figure anything out.
Confidence isn’t the absence of fear. It’s the ability to navigate despite it. It’s the internal fire that fuels your ambition, the quiet voice that whispers “you can do this,” and the unwavering belief in your own abilities. It isn’t about bragging or boasting. It’s about knowing your worth, embracing your strengths, and accepting your weaknesses. It’s the courage to take risks, to learn from mistakes, and to pick yourself up after every fall.
Confidence isn’t a fixed state; it’s a journey. It’s a muscle that needs to be exercised, a flame that needs to be nurtured. It’s built through action, through small wins and giant leaps, through facing your fears and emerging stronger.
Activities
The Batman Effect
Red Marks
NOTES
Check out our Book of Beautiful Bowls Here. Fourteen amazing bowls to feed your family and your soul. Filled with cuisines from around the world, you won’t be lacking in any more menus for your week.
In this episode of Build It Beautiful, we dive deep into the world of taking massive action. Discover the strategies, mindset shifts, and practical tips needed to overcome fear, break down barriers, and achieve your wildest goals. We’ll explore the power of accountability, the importance of setting clear goals, and some practical examples of things we are working on right now. Get ready to the invitation to jump over into massive action this week and meet your full potential as we explore the transformative power of massive action.
EVENTS
Women’s Wellness Summit – Saturday, November 16, 2024
The mission of the Women’s Wellness Summit is to amplify women’s voices, impact, and influence through the 8 dimensions of wellness: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, environmental, financial, and occupational.
This Summit brings women, of all seasons of life, together to explore new outlets for their wellness journey.
Outcome goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. They focus on the end result that you want to achieve. Process goals, on the other hand, are more general and focus on the steps that you need to take to achieve your outcome goals.
Outcome goals are important because they give you something to strive for. They help you stay motivated and focused on your target. Process goals are also important because they help you make progress towards your outcome goals. They help you identify what you need to do and how you need to do it.
The best way to set goals is to combine outcome goals and process goals. This will help you stay motivated and on track as you work towards your target.
Here are some examples of outcome goals:
Lose 10 pounds in 2 months.
Run a marathon in 4 hours.
Get a promotion at work.
Here are some examples of process goals:
Eat healthy foods.
Exercise 30 minutes a day.
Take a class to improve your skills.
By combining outcome goals and process goals, you can create a plan that will help you achieve your target.
OUTCOME GOALS
Outcome goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. They are the end result that you want to achieve. For example, an outcome goal might be to lose 10 pounds in 6 weeks.
Outcome goals are important because they give you something to strive for. They help you to stay motivated and focused on your goals. When you have a clear outcome goal in mind, it’s easier to make decisions and take actions that will help you to achieve it.
Outcome goals can also help you to track your progress. When you know what you’re working towards, it’s easier to see how far you’ve come and how much further you have to go. This can be a great motivator to keep going, even when things get tough.
So, how do you set outcome goals? Here are a few tips:
Make sure your goals are specific. What exactly do you want to achieve?
Make sure your goals are measurable. How will you know when you’ve achieved them?
Make sure your goals are achievable. If your goals are too difficult, you’re more likely to give up.
Make sure your goals are relevant. Are they aligned with your values and priorities?
Make sure your goals are time-bound. When do you want to achieve them by?
Once you’ve set your outcome goals, it’s time to start taking action. Break down your goals into smaller, more manageable steps. This will make them seem less daunting and more achievable.
It’s also important to track your progress. This will help you to stay motivated and on track. There are a number of ways to track your progress, such as keeping a journal, using a goal-tracking app, or simply setting reminders for yourself.
PROCESS GOALS
Process goals are the steps that you take to achieve your outcome goal. They are the actions that you need to take in order to reach your desired outcome. For example, a process goal for losing 10 pounds might be to eat healthy foods and exercise regularly.
Process goals are important because they help you to make progress towards your outcome goals. They help you to stay on track and to make sure that you are taking the necessary steps to achieve your desired outcome.
Process goals can also help you to stay motivated. When you see yourself making progress towards your goal, it can be a great motivator to keep going, even when things get tough.
So, how do you set process goals? Here are a few tips:
Break down your outcome goal into smaller, more manageable steps.
Make sure your process goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.
Set deadlines for your process goals.
Track your progress towards your goals.
Reward yourself for achieving your process goals.
By following these tips, you can set and achieve your process goals more effectively.
Here are some additional tips for setting and achieving process goals:
Make sure your process goals are aligned with your outcome goals.
Be realistic about what you can achieve.
Don’t be afraid to adjust your process goals as needed.
Don’t give up! Even if you have a setback, keep going.
Thanks for listening to the podcast. I hope this episode has helped you to understand the importance of process goals and how to set and achieve them. If you have any questions, please feel free to leave a comment below.
***We do not claim to be a doctor or anything of the like. This document is for educational purposes only. Any action taken by the reader is their sole responsibility and should be done with discretion. No claim can be made against Adagio FIT or its employees. If you ever have any questions, take them to your primary care doctor.***
In my personal life I have been studying a lot about loss. In the next couple months I have some big changes coming up in my life as I have known it. I have felt such angst and stress about choosing these changes and implementing them that they have caused a lack of sleep and an inability to function well as a mother and coach.
For one thing, these future changes are my choice instead of something that is forced and two, I have never really done well with change. whenever we would go on an extended break or Holiday from school like Christmas, the first week back of school I would always get sick. This happened a lot in college. When the semesters changed and my routine needed to change, my body would get some sort of cold or flu, and I’d be down for the count and miss days of school. Even though I’m not in school now, whenever there are big changes or big events in my life or family life, I ramp up to them and then afterwards I get sick either mentally or physically.
On a side note, doesn’t this example show that our mental state can affect our physical state. More to come on those thoughts in an article soon.
So with me loving routine these changes have been ridiculously difficult to fathom and make. Therefore I have taken it to some of the doctors that I work with to talk to them about which changes and how much change I need to be able to heal and balance that with keeping myself mentally happy. I love where I’m at right now, but I recognize that some change is good and change will allow me to grow but also heal some health issues I am experiencing.
As I have talked with professionals about these changes my therapist brought to light a syndrome that we want to call the Tom Brady syndrome. It’s something I want to share with you today because it rang so true and felt was easily relatable.
training the mind
I’m going to assume that you know who Tom Brady is and if you don’t go and Google him. In a very short sentence he, being an amazing football player, retired from football and after a short time unretired from football and went back into the game.
As a top football player and a high-performance achiever I can only understand why he went back to football. He loves the dopamine rush and the 100% for filament that he gets from winning a game and being the top performer in his industry and Sport. One can only understand that retiring from that was a severe loss for him and probably caused mental sadness and emotions that he wasn’t used to having because he was so used to all the good emotions that he experienced while playing football and winning.
Interestingly enough, what has happened since he has gone back to the game are also interesting losses. his wife and he have gotten a divorce. His wife was his biggest fan and was a key contributor to his success as a football player. For example, she monitored every little bit of food that went into his mouth so that he was fueled properly and also was in charge of making sure he had boundaries so he could recover.Something else that has happened since coming back to the game, he’s losing.
So I want to discuss 3 points about the Tom Brady syndrome that you can see in what Tom Brady is going through right now.
The Tank
The first point is called the tank. The tank is where a professional is at the top of their career and due to age, injury, circumstances or other professionals coming into the same industry, etc, this professional starts to tank in their success rate and is not at the top of their game or career anymore.
With Tom Brady coming back out of retirement and losing all of these games is showing that he is starting to tank.
So the question for you is: should Tom Brady finish his career of football at the high or should he continue in football as he tanks and finish at a low? What do you think that would do to his mental health as well as the story that people will tell about him for years to come?
The next question there would be where are you at and your career? Do you think you have reached your Peak do you think you still have room to grow or do you think you are in the tank?
I have noticed in my personal Journey that due to the injuries and health problems I’m experiencing, I am in the tank. I have not been able to give what I used to be able to give and it has been discouraging and sad. I appreciated the advice that I received to not tank fully and exit at the low but to exit at the high.Honestly I think when we exit at a high we can look back with fond memories and there is closure.
The Acceptance
The second point is called acceptance. The acceptance is the concept that after we leave or turn away from our original trajectory and goal we might experience loss in the manner that whatever we do instead might not be as fulfilling as the thing we did first.
For Tom Brady, he probably should go out and buy a football team. That’s the closest thing that he could do to recreate the happiness that he experienced as the football player. However he probably will only be able to receive 90% of his fulfillment back compared to the 100% that he might have gotten as a player himself. That is part of loss.
It is good for us to recognize that in Los we may not be able to get back to the hundred percent fulfillment that we had. Very rarely will somebody experience something that is better than what they were originally doing when they were at the top of their game.
If you are aware of this you would be grasping for straws and probably looking outside of yourself for inner peace. Just like Tom Brady coming back out of retirement. He probably couldn’t find something that would fulfill him just as much as playing football did and he didn’t know how to handle that and sit with that. Then he has the consequence of losing his wife now because he chose to come back out of retirement and that is not what she wanted or was told would happen.
For me, I don’t know what is coming next after my changes but I do appreciate this concept. I used to dance ballroom at BYU and competed professionally and was doing very well. I stopped dancing because my body could not get pregnant due to how much physical work I was putting in to dance every day. When I stopped I experienced a severe depression for a long time. For years I couldn’t even watch the progress of my fellow dancers because I knew where I “should have been” in the dance world. I don’t think anything I have done in the dance realm since has been as fulfilling as being a competitor on the dance floor and winning. It still hurts 13 years later and now having an understanding that fulfillment might not reach capacity has helped me release the pain because of those expectations being replaced with acceptance.
The Vacuum
The final concept of the Tom Brady syndrome is the vacuum. And on a side note, I’m grateful for spell check, because I still don’t know how to spell vacuum without help. LOL.
The vacuum is where when you take something out of your life it will put a force into the universe that will pull something new into that empty space.
Tom Brady had a really big empty space because he had a very big, successful, Limelight career. Again oh, he didn’t have the tools nor the patience to wait for something else to come along to fill that space.
Along with that I feel like if we understand that there will be a vacuum we can be looking for opportunities and we can recognize that some opportunities will be good ones and some will be bad ones or destructive ones that will not help us.
When covid shut my job down as a group fitness instructor there was a big loss there. I was tumbled into this space that created a vacuum and needed to be filled. Some of the things that filled that space were good and I’ll talk about those in a second, but some of them were not so good. I didn’t eat well. I lost a lot of my discipline and my hope for the future. In fact, I think that I am still recovering from what that vacuum brought to me and what I chose. Now like I said, some of those opportunities were good ones. I ended up taking clients virtually during covid and really laid a good foundation to be a personal trainer and nutrition coach online. if it weren’t for covid and that loss I would not have had that space replaced.
Right now I don’t know what is going to fill the space from the loss that I am going to incur in the next couple of months. I was feeling anxious about that. There are a lot of what-ifs. But I am finding that because of the awareness that there is a vacuum I am handling the unknown a lot better. In fact, there’s a part of me that is really looking forward to what might open up for me in opportunities that are constructive and helpful to me and the next season of My Life.
So finishing up, let’s review the Tom Brady syndrome. The Tom Brady syndrome has three main facets. The first facet is the tank, the second is the acceptance, And the third is the vacuum.
Maybe you can look back on a couple of your losses and think about these three aspects. Then, being aware of these three aspects when you go into a new loss, which will happen because we are all mortal and human, maybe, because you have awareness of them you will be able to more gracefully and strongly handle your next loss in a way that will help you come out of that more refined and better.
At least that is my hope because I am seeing that work in my own life.
These tools are taken from Emiliya Zhivotovskaya. I first heard of these while I was mowing my lawn and had to stop, run in the house and spent the next 30 minutes writing furiously to take notes of each of these tools. Then I found them on her site, much better explained and written out. You can learn more from the website below.
I find that I like the body ones and then can move on to the mind tools. With all my studies on anxiety, I felt this finally helped a more broad population, like me, that feels anxiety really fast and really hard.
The following is written by: Emiliya Zhivotovskaya but simplified slightly for reading purposes.
BODY TOOLS:
1. EXERCISE
There are thousands of research studies that support the impact of exercise in completing the stress cycle. Engaging your muscles use up the chemicals that your body releases. A 2014 study by Wegner et al., aggregated data of over 37 meta-analyses and research on 42,264 people and identified that exercise made a significant impact on anxiety.
Cardiovascular exercise like running is great as our evolutionary ancestors were often running from something when they were anxious. But, if you don’t have anywhere to run to escape the tiger in your mind, exercises such as progressive muscle relaxation can work too. Tense all of your muscles and hold for a slow count of ten and then relaxing.
2. TOUCH
Whether you’re petting an animal or receiving a hug… touch releases oxytocin. This feel good chemical is responsible for bonding, connection and a sense of trust.
3. SELF-HAVENING
Havening is a psycho-sensory therapy that utilizes physical touch to down-regulate the nervous system.
4. BUTTERFLY TAP
This is one of my favorite techniques for creating calm utilizing bilateral stimulation of the brain. This is the use of visual, auditory, or tactile external stimuli occurring in a rhythmic side-to-side pattern which if frequently used as a core element of eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy.
5. TAPPING & EFT
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), also known as tapping, is a novel treatment of stress related conditions using a step by step process of self-stimulating acupressure points throughout the body while repeating a statement. While research on EFT is in it’s infancy, the data is promising and the self-reported uses and impact is strong, including this research summary Medical News Today which offers the EFT steps, along with a summary of the most recent research.
6. FORWARD FOLDING
Benefit from the impact of gravity on blood flow to slow your beating heart with forward fold poses. Consider some of these simple possess for 5-7 breathes. Inhale and fill your body with breath. Exhale slowly and mindfully ease into the stretch.
7. SING, CHANT OR HUM
The vagus nerve passes through by the vocal cords and the inner ear and the vibrations of humming is a free and easy way to influence your nervous system states. In particular, chanting the sound “OM” or anything with a “mmm” sound stimulates the vagus nerve as it is connected to the vocal cords. Consider the bumble breathe (bhramari), it’s one of my favorites. The first time I ever did bhramari in yoga class, was also the first time I had ever experienced a “silent mind.” (Even though it only lasted 2 seconds :-).
8. WATER THERAPY
As water flows, the crashing of water particles creates negative ions which when inhaled and felt on our skin has been shown to lift mood and decrease stress. And what’s better than listening to the sound of running water? Getting in! A 2018 study by Goto and colleagues examined the impact of showering versus bathing on the well-being of 38 participants. They found that while both are beneficial, bathing led to significantly lower stress, tension-anxiety, anger-hostility, and depression-dejection. According to the authors, “Immersion bathing, but not shower bathing, exerts hyperthermic action that induces increased blood flow and metabolic waste elimination, which may afford physical refreshment. Immersion bathing should improve both physical and emotional aspects of quality of life.”
9. BREATHING
Breathing is the only autonomic function that you have direct control over. Every inhale stimulates your sympathetic nervous system, your body’s gas pedal. Every exhale stimulates your parasympathetic nervous system. Use these techniques to drive the car of your body. To decrease the experience of anxiety and stress, make your exhale longer than your inhale. To stimulate the body, make your inhale significantly longer than you’re exhale. To relax the body, make your exhale significantly longer than your inhale.
The simplest and safest way to start is to notice your breath and count what a natural breath cycle feels like. Then try to match the length of your inhale and exhale. Then, to create calm, keep breathing with your inhale count the same but slowly extend your exhale count until the exhale is twice as long as your inhale.
Here are the many ways that breathing impacts your mind-body health:
10. SOFT BELLY BREATHING
The vagus nerve is one of the primary nerves of the relaxation response. It innervates the most in the stomach region. When you practice abdominal breathing you slow the breath down and relax the muscles around your stomach, you further stimulate the vagus nerve.
MIND TOOLS:
1. CATCH THE CHATTER
Set a timer to go off. When it does, write down your thoughts. Knowing what types of thoughts you’re working with will give you greater mastery over the process below. You may notice that there are a handful of core worries that you have and everything else is on loop.
2. TALKBACK TO THE THOUGHTS
Reminder yourself that you are not your thoughts. You are not worried. You are you, having the experience of worry. Reperceiving is defined as the ability to “disidentify from the contents of consciousness (i.e., one’s thoughts) and view moment-by-moment experience with greater clarity and objectivity” (Shapiro et al., 2006, p. 377). Mindfully witnessing your thoughts helps you separate yourself from the thinker.
3. THANK YOUR PROTECTIVE BRAIN
Instead of wrestling your thoughts, recognize that they are trying to protect you. Appreciate your worrying mind doesn’tWhamean you have to give in to the thoughts. Remember that worrying interrupts long-term problem solving. If there is actual threat, then what you need is problem solving and action. Worry makes you want to run away instead of leaning and doing something about it.
4. MANAGE YOUR “WHAT IFS”
Your neo-cortex is the human, rational thinking part of your brain. It is the part of your brain that has the capacity to use reason and logic to make decisions about the future. Your emotional limbic system in your brain, is the part of our brain that is wired for survival. In a relaxed state, the emotional brain is aware of “what is happening” and the rational brain is capable of planning into the future of “what will happen” with “what if” scenarios. When you’re in threat mode your worrying brain decides it should be responsible for “What Iffing”. It does so with worst case scenario thoughts and makes you think it’s real. Remember, the emotional brain treats the “what ifs” as though they are happening now.
5. DESIGNATE WORRY TIME
Setting aside time to worry creates a container. I suggest picking a daily time and writing for at least 15-20 minutes. Most people find they max out around 5-10 minutes. Then when you’re brain offers worries at other times throughout the day, remind it that it can wait till the next time.
Check out Jonathan Field’s description of the Certainty Anchors and how to use them to find calm in a stormy world. Use these anchors to center you and calm the brain. Create rituals that bring meaning to the simple actions of day to day life.
Last episode, #30, we introduced you to the Thought Model CTFAR as seen here:
You will want to listen to that episode before hitting this one so you know about the ins and outs of each of the 5 areas in the model. Because in this episode we work on how to apply this model and then change it to get the results in your life.
We’d love to dive deeper with you into this model. We offer a 30 min no pressure mini coaching session to anyone interested in changing their thoughts to get better results! Click below to sign up and get contacted on how and when.
Looking for specific results in your life or getting results you aren’t satisfied with? You’ll definitely want to listen to this podcast. We are discussing the model from Brooke Castillo that I use in my coaching. It truly is the magic sauce to every problem or result you want to have. CTFAR for the WIN! Listen to learn more.
We talk about an emotion wheel during this cast. Click below to get the free download. Like I said in the podcast, I love to use this to decode what I am really feeling and I use it for my kids too!
Thank you for listening. Because of you, we keep this podcast up and running. We would love to know what you think about the podcast and you can share that with us below in the comments.
Along with the last episode we add another tool for you to help create and live a life you love. Today we are talking about fence posts. Want to know how this all ties in? Give it a listen below.
We love conversation and comments, and personally respond to each one I receive. I would love to know about my listeners and why you are listening. Drop me a comment where and how you are listening.
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We ask the questions, what are you choosing to see or unsee? Is it what you’d like to see in your life? Do you see lots of negative in your life? Did you know the good stuff is already there and you can easily see it with a simple shift in your gaze? We teach you how on today’s podcast.
We are diving into our focus with a great football test my girls and I saw on a show the other night. A good example of it can be found by clicking here. Our brain is extremely smart and will only see what is important. It is wired to forget or unsee what isn’t. The best part? You get to choose what you want to see!
Our courses are open for enrollment! We have some great individual ones open in personal training and in life coaching. Check us out by clicking below and thanks for joining us today! We are happy to answer and questions or comments you may have. Leave them below and give us a rating on itunes too 🙂 Thanks!
On today’s podcast, I am giving you a look at a class we teach in our online mind + body training courses. It is on the abundance mindset. We truly create our reality by the thoughts and words we use and creating a sense of abundance or that abundance mindset will help us be happy and healthier!
If you love this insight into our classes, you can learn about the courses we offer with the link below. We have individual coaching and group coaching sessions happening.
