In this episode of Build It Beautiful, we dive deep into the world of taking massive action. Discover the strategies, mindset shifts, and practical tips needed to overcome fear, break down barriers, and achieve your wildest goals. We’ll explore the power of accountability, the importance of setting clear goals, and some practical examples of things we are working on right now. Get ready to the invitation to jump over into massive action this week and meet your full potential as we explore the transformative power of massive action.
EVENTS
Women’s Wellness Summit – Saturday, November 16, 2024
The mission of the Women’s Wellness Summit is to amplify women’s voices, impact, and influence through the 8 dimensions of wellness: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, environmental, financial, and occupational.
This Summit brings women, of all seasons of life, together to explore new outlets for their wellness journey.
A PreMenstrual Disorder Perspective Podcast to help women know that health is personal and possible. Like, share, and subscribe for more. @adagiofit on IG
***Note: these thoughts are in no way to replace your physician. If you have questions, please consult your doctor and professionals for direction before you make any changes in your health. I am not a doctor, just a coach. Also, these podcast may contain information that is sensitive in nature and might be triggering. Please listen with caution. Thank you.***
***LISTEN TO THE PODCAST IN A WEB BROWSER AT ADAIGOFIT.COM***
Cravings, temptation, and an appetite that just won’t seem to go away. These are some of the biggest struggles people have when going through premenstrual disorders.
Broadly speaking, people know which foods are fairly healthy, and which aren’t so healthy. And, when dieting, these people want to lose weight; that’s the reason they’re dieting, after all.
So, they know what they want to achieve, and roughly know which foods they should be eating. So why are long term success rates so low?
It’s because cravings, temptation, and your appetite eventually wear you down. Once the initial motivation you had begins to wane, it becomes harder to resist these. Your brain doesn’t want you to lose weight.
In an evolutionary sense, food was scarce. So, a drive to eat meant greater chances of survival and therefore passing on your genes. The difference now is that food is not scarce. In fact, it’s abundant. We are surrounded by high-calorie, high-reward food, but we still have a brain geared towards survival in a very different environment. This mismatch is a key reason why dieting is so hard.
Remove temptation from your environment
Clear out tempting foods, don’t keep them in the house. If it’s out of sight, it’s out of mind. If this isn’t feasible because you live with others and they won’t accept you throwing out the junk, then hide tempting foods instead. Keep them in separate cupboards, away from the ones you usually use. Keep them in opaque containers so you can’t see them. It’s amazing how small changes like this can have a big impact on our behavior.
You want to make it harder to eat unhealthy foods. Our brain wants to minimize effort, so increase the effort it takes to make poor choices. For example, having to go to the shops to buy a chocolate bar is a lot more effort than just picking it out of the snack drawer.
Willpower is like a muscle, you can only use it a certain amount of times before it’s weakened. So, don’t rely on willpower. Instead, alter your environment so you don’t need to use willpower every time you enter the kitchen.
Create an environment that supports your goals, not one that sabotages them.
2. Separate eating from other activities
Eat at the dinner table. Don’t eat while watching the TV, or while scrolling through your phone. You want to minimize distractions that take you away from the experience of eating.
Eat slowly. Separating eating from other activities will naturally allow you to slow down, focus on your food, and be more mindful when eating. You will feel more full and satisfied after eating in this way.
If you stop eating while watching the TV, for example, your brain stops associating food with these activities. If you’re used to watching TV in the evening with a few biscuits, you’ll find you start to think about biscuits when you sit down in front of the TV. Your brain has learned that evening TV = biscuit time and will urge you, through cravings, to continue this habit.
If you separate these activities, your brain stops associating them. If you have a rule that you don’t eat in front of the TV, the effort required to get a snack and sit at the table without your phone or TV means you’re unlikely to do it unless you’re truly hungry.
Again, it comes down to increasing the effort required to make poor dietary choices.
3. Stop snacking
Controversial, right? You don’t have to stop it completely, but I would recommend focusing on full meals first and foremost.
Snacking throughout the day, without having full meals, can lead to what I call the Not-Quite Cycle™. This is when you spend your whole day being not-quite hungry between meals, and not-quite satisfied after meals. This sucks.
Snack foods are typically easy to over eat and don’t fill you up. Think crisps, sweets, chocolate and other processed, packaged snack foods. You’d be better off saving these calories for a filling, nutritious meal.
If you do snack, choose things like fruit and plain yoghurt. These are minimally-processed, highly satiating, and therefore hard to overeat.
4. Limit hyper-palatable foods
Hyper-palatable just means tasty and easy to overeat. A combination of fat/salt/sugar is often what makes foods hyper-palatable. These types of food rarely occur naturally, and so are often highly-processed and calorie-dense.
Your brain get familiar with these tastes and that’s how cravings develop. Even protein bars, fiber one bars, and other ‘low calorie’ or ‘healthy’ snacks would still fall into this category. That’s not at all to say you can’t include them in your diet. But, if you’re someone who struggles with your appetite and cravings, it may be wise to forego them.
5. Prioritize high satiety, minimally-processed whole foods
These are foods like fruits, vegetables, lean meats, potatoes, fish, eggs, wholegrains, beans and legumes, oats, and plain yoghurt.
These foods are hard to overeat. They are often less-calorie dense, higher protein, and higher fiber, meaning they are highly satiating and therefore, you’re unlikely to over-consume them.
6. Don’t allow hunger to become extreme
Intermittent fasting is a useful tool but it’s not magic, and it’s not for everyone. You need to find what works for you. If you can happily skip breakfast and have lunch as your first meal, go for it. But, if trying to fast leads you to overeat later in the day, then don’t do it! I can’t believe I have to say this, but I do. Again, it’s not magic, it’s just one method. – if it doesn’t work for you, try a different method.
Spreading your meals evenly throughout the day can help to keep you hunger levels under control, and prevent you falling into the Not-Quite Cycle™, or restricting to the point where you end up overeating.
7. Consult your future self
This is a psychological technique called episodic future-thinking. It involves removing yourself from the present moment, and thinking about how this decision is going to affect you in the future.
Remember your goals, the reasons why you’re dieting, and the hard work you’ve put in so far. Ask yourself this question: “would my future self thank me for the decision I’m about to make?”
If you’re following the 6 previous strategies, then your cravings will be more like an occasional whisper, rather than a persistent chatter. Consulting your future self can allow you to look at the big picture, and make the right decision for you.
Here’s a quick recap of the eight strategies to manage your appetite:
Remove temptation from your environment
Separate eating from other activities
Stop snacking
Limit hyper-palatable foods
Priorities minimally-processed whole foods
Don’t allow hunger to become too extreme
Consult your future self
Manage your stress and sleep
Following this advice could be the difference between reaching your goals or not. Read it, understand it, implement it. Words mean nothing if you don’t put it into action. So, give yourself a checklist of action points to take away from this article, and it could change your life for the better.
Changing behaviors is difficult. Many barriers to change exist in both physical and mental paths. All individuals have their own composition of fear, education, environment, social settings, and time constraints that create different outcomes and building blocks for the same problems.
Precontemplation – At this stage, an individual is not yet aware or is unwilling to accept that a change is needed. They are likely hanging on to their current behaviors and have not yet found intrinsic motivation to change but may have pressure from other sources to make change.
Contemplation – The client has started to become aware that a change is needed, but they are struggling with the pros and cons of doing so, the amount of effort that may be required of them, or what they may have to sacrifice to see change.
Preparation – This is the stage where serious consideration starts to take place and even a desire to begin taking steps to make change. At this point, they are starting to think about what they can do to bring about change but may still be struggling with knowing where to begin. The desire for change is there.
Action – Here they start taking physical action, moving beyond the stages of mental effort to actually taking steps to implement the changes that, until this point, have only been considerations. For many, this will be the most difficult stage as it is the “first step,” so to speak, and where they will have to put forth the greatest commitment to keep momentum.
Maintenance – At this point, the client has been consistent with their new behaviors for at least 6 months (Rubak et al., 2005) and it is becoming an integrated part of their lifestyle. Getting here does not mean they will stay here, though, and, if they have not been focused on a sustainable approach, they are still at risk of relapsing to old behaviors.
Today, we’ll talk about how to keep your female hormones in harmony.
There are a number of things you can do:
Eating a healthy diet. A healthy diet is important for overall health and well-being, and it’s especially important for keeping your hormones in balance. Make sure to eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. These foods are rich in nutrients that support hormone health.
Getting regular exercise. Exercise is another important way to keep your hormones in balance. Exercise helps to regulate the production of hormones, and it can also help to reduce stress levels. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity exercise most days of the week.
Managing stress. Stress can have a negative impact on hormone levels. If you’re feeling stressed, try to find ways to relax and de-stress. Exercise, yoga, and meditation are all great ways to manage stress.
Getting enough sleep. Sleep is essential for hormone production and regulation. Aim for 7-8 hours of sleep each night.
Avoiding toxins. Toxins, such as those found in cigarette smoke, alcohol, and processed foods, can disrupt hormone balance. If you want to keep your hormones in balance, it’s important to avoid these toxins.
Here are some of the most common symptoms of hormone imbalance:
Irregular periods
Heavy or light periods
Painful periods
Hot flashes
Night sweats
Vaginal dryness
Fatigue
Mood swings
Anxiety
Depression
Weight gain or loss
Hair loss
Skin problems
Sleep problems
Sexual problems
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, talk to your doctor. They can help you to identify the cause of your symptoms and recommend treatment options.
Here are some of the most common causes of hormone levels to be in dissonance:
Age: Hormone levels naturally decline as we age.
Stress: Stress can disrupt hormone production and regulation.
Diet: A diet that is high in processed foods, sugar, and unhealthy fats can contribute to hormone imbalance.
Lack of exercise: Exercise helps to regulate hormone production.
Medical conditions: Certain medical conditions, such as thyroid problems, can cause hormone imbalance.
Medications: Some medications, such as birth control pills, can disrupt hormone balance.
If you are concerned about your hormone levels, talk to your doctor. They can order blood tests to measure your hormone levels and help you to determine the cause of your symptoms. Remember that hormone testing is a one time thing but female bodies are in constant flux with hormone levels in your body.
One on One coaching and small group coaching sessions are starting to open up. Reach out for a free consultation to get started working on your health.
Whether with a coach or a trainer or having no accountability at all, how many times have you “set a goal,” only to not reach it and then feel disappointed in yourself?
This has happened to most of us, even me as a coach, and the problem with goal achievement isn’t usually that we “failed” or “didn’t work hard enough” — it’s that our goals weren’t clear and descriptive enough to offer us an effective road map to the end result.
using the right coach can help you reach your goals this year
The goals that you set should be a helpful way for you to nail down exactly what you want to achieve and how to get there. Your goals should offer you ways to monitor your progress along the way. In this article, I’ll coach you exactly how to set yourself up for success.
Outcome-Based Goals
When most people set goals, they choose an outcome they’d like to reach. Outcome-based goals focus on the end-result, and are often number-oriented. These types of goals are very familiar to us, and they’re easy to identify. Losing twenty pounds, squatting your bodyweight, doing five chin-ups are all outcome-based goals.
Unfortunately, outcome-based goals sole focus is on the result, and these goals often leave out the most important details and step-by-step instructions. The most common experience in attempting to achieve an outcome-based goal includes:
Getting frustrated when it’s difficult to make progress toward your goal.
Feeling like you just have to “work harder” when you fail to reach your goal.
Starting to believe something is wrong with you when you work harder and still don’t reach your goal, and feeling overwhelmed with the process.
The good news is, you’re not a failure and there’s nothing wrong with you. Rather, your outcome-based goal has failed you and it needs some revamping. Here’s why.
Outcome-based goals don’t leave you 100% in control of achieving them.
The things you can do are to create the conditions and behaviors that make your outcome more likely. For example, if you have a goal of squatting your bodyweight, but you do random workouts and don’t have a training program that includes squatting or other exercises that might help you increase the amount of weight you can squat, part of your road map to goal achievement is missing.
Using a training program that is progressive, includes squatting as a main exercise, and that you do a few times each week consistently over a period of months will make it more likely for you to achieve your goal of squatting your bodyweight.
Outcome-based goals might be unrealistic or lead to feelings of overwhelm.
Sometimes outcome-based goals can feel really far away and although the end result is something you really want to reach, the process of getting there might seem insurmountable, especially if your road map isn’t clear.
For example, let’s say you’ve never exercised with consistency before and are really hoping to get in shape by starting to train and by changing the way you eat. Overhauling your life might include making sweeping changes to the way you exercise, shop and prepare your food, plan your daily, weekly, and monthly schedules, and how you prioritize your rest, recovery, and self-care.
This requires making a ton of changes, some of which probably aren’t realistic or sustainable if you’re just getting started, which feeds feelings of overwhelm. These feelings of overwhelm might actually be a barrier to even getting started.
Outcome-based goals don’t necessarily address the root cause for wanting change, which makes it hard to identify concrete steps that align with your value. Many of us assume that achieving a particular outcome will lead to increased happiness and satisfaction, which is often not the case. Just because you reach a goal you’ve set for yourself doesn’t mean you’ll feel satisfied with the results, especially if you haven’t figured out exactly why you wanted to make that change in the first place.
For example, some women want to change their body composition by losing a significant amount of body fat. When some women do achieve their goal, they still feel unsatisfied if their body doesn’t look or feel the way they expected it to.
They might feel shame because they were chasing a “look” that they thought would bring about a certain feeling or emotional state. They assumed that being leaner would make them happier. What they didn’t do was figure out exactly why they wanted to be leaner in the first place.
All of this seems frustrating, right? So what’s the solution? Set behavior-based goals that lead you toward a desired outcome.
Behavior-Based Goals
Behavior-based goals are a stronger alternative to outcome-based goals, and provide you with a roadmap of actions you can take that lead you toward the results you’re chasing. These types of goals put you in the driver’s seat and more in control of the process of reaching your goal. In fact, the entire focus of behavior-based goals is the process itself. This is how I coach.
By digging into exactly what you want to achieve (your outcome) and why it’s important to you, it’ll be easier to identify the steps that make goal achievement more likely.
If you know why something’s important to you, you should be able to evaluate what you’re willing (or not willing to do) to get there. This puts you in control of your actions and behaviors and gives you a systematic way of achieving your goal. The process of goal achievement should feel less overwhelming and more satisfying because you’re becoming the person who “does the things” to reach your goal.
This approach typically allows you to have a more positive mindset along the way because you’re consistently racking up small “wins” when you take each small step toward your goal. All of these things lead you to experiencing more success.
Big Rocks vs. Small Rocks
When looking to identify behavior-based goals, we suggest that you focus first on what we consider the “big rocks,” which form the foundation of a healthy lifestyle. Big rocks include getting adequate restorative sleep, drinking enough water, managing stress, eating nourishing food, moving meaningfully, and doing these things consistently. The idea is that if you can’t consistently practice these habits, then the “small rocks” (such as choosing to add cream to your coffee or not) won’t impact your ability to get results as much as the “big rocks” will.
On a side note, you want to make sure you aren’t loading your jar with too many big rocks or nothing will fit— make sure you aren’t spread too thin with too many behavior to dos. Also, as your coach I remind you that there will always be more rocks than can fit in your jar, so choosing wisely which rocks you want is important.
So, how do you set a behavior-based goal?
1. Identify Your Outcome Goal
Determine the long-range thing you’d like to achieve, and think about why it’s important to you. How do you think you’ll feel by achieving it? Does it align with the resources (time, energy, money, etc.) that you have available, and with your values and priorities? If so, move on to step two.
2. Assess What You’re Doing
Next, do an assessment of what you’re doing currently that is moving you toward that outcome. List things that might be challenging for you along the way, as well as the areas you are confident in making changes. Where are the opportunities you can make small, realistic changes that move you toward your goal?
3. Choose Next Steps
Create realistic, actionable behavior-based goals that lead to your outcome. Each of these little steps acts as a rung on the ladder that leads to your goal. Each step might seem small, but all together they take you closer to where you want to go.
4. Prioritize
Rank your confidence based on the frequency you’ll need to take each action and the resources you have. Prioritize the actions you’ll take first, and remember to make small changes one at a time.
5. Track Your Progress
Choose a method for tracking your behavior-based goals in order to monitor your progress. This may be a simple check mark in a notebook, or you may choose something like an app to keep track of your changes.
6. Start With The First Behavior-Based Goal
Start tracking one behavior-based goal. On a confidence scale of 1 to 10 you should feel like you are at a 9 or 10 out of 10 that you can complete that behavior. Track for two weeks and then evaluate for consistency. If you completed that behavior 80 percent of the time over the previous two weeks, choose a new action to start tracking.
If you didn’t reach 80 percent consistency with that behavior, do a check-in to assess whether it was really realistic for you. If it’s something you’d like to continue monitoring for a while longer, go for it. If it was originally unrealistic, scale it down to something you can definitely do.
Coaches’ Corner
As a coach or trainer, my clients come to me with their goals. It’s my job to help them translate outcome-based goals into actionable behavior-based goals.
I coach them to:
Figure out why that goal is meaningful or important to them.
Identify whether that goal aligns with their priorities and values.
Clarify and refine concrete and manageable actions they can take.
Manage their time by guiding where to place their energy.
As a coach, the process for taking a goal from outcome to behaviors looks like this.
As a coach, I will assess my client’s current training, nutrition, rest and recovery strategies. I’ll take a look at their lifestyle, work schedule, leisure activities, commitments, and weekly schedule. We discuss what they might be ready to change, as well as the barriers they might encounter.
Then we set behavior-based goals based on their outcome goals, and keep in mind that the actions they take to move them toward their outcome have a lot to do with “big rocks” and less to do with “small rocks.” Big rocks include getting adequate restorative sleep, drinking enough water, managing stress, eating nourishing food, moving meaningfully, and doing these things consistently. Big rocks move the dial, while small rocks are very small, nuanced actions that won’t make much difference in goal achievement unless the big rocks are in place.
As a coach and trainer we will start with small changes my client can confidently make first. I help them create routines to make these actions more likely. I stay involved throughout the process of goal achievement and evaluate their progress and help them through stalls in progress, over roadblocks, and problem-solving when they arefeeling challenged.
I help you through behaviors to get in the best shape of your life—for good.
With adagio FIT Training and Coaching, you’ll get the support, accountability, and expert education to eat and exercise in a sustainable way — without restrictive diets or spending your life in the gym.
Whether your health and fitness goals are to…
Get stronger
Gain muscle
Lose body fat
Improve your pull-ups
Have a safe and healthy pregnancy
Return to exercise safely postpartum
Heal your relationship with food
Balance your hormones/disorders
Increase your confidence
… or anything else, we’ll help you achieve them. You can experience life-changing results while eating and exercising in a way that actually fits into your life — instead of controlling it.
You’ll learn how to:
Improve your nutrition without giving up the foods you love
Exercise safely and effectively so you’re getting maximum results from your workouts without burning yourself out
Increase your confidence, love the way your body looks, feels, and performs — and enjoy your life more than you ever thought possible
And you’ll become the happiest, fittest, strongest version of yourself, one step at a time.
Interested in learning more? Join in a free, no-obligation consultation with Clarissa, our Female Personal Trainer and Nutrition Coach by clicking below.
There’s a quote that says it takes four weeks for you to see a difference, 8 weeks for close friends to see a difference, and 12 weeks for the rest of the world to see a difference. This quote hones in on something that’s been on my mind.
About 150% of the time (no kidding) when I have a health coaching client who is doing really well they hit an interesting roadblock. The roadblock comes because when you make changes and others notice, others think that it is now their job to give you input about this change. Usually the input comes when we change because others become uncomfortable because they liked the old you or behaviors, or because they are curious towards your success and they want the same for themselves.
What usually happens with my clients though is that they do great until people start making comments and then, when people start making comments, it makes them uncomfortable and these clients have a revert to past behaviors to soothe this discomfort. So as a health coach, working with my female clients, we have to start learning how to be uncomfortable with other people being uncomfortable and voicing that discomfort.
I don’t know if you know about a tuning fork, but when you use a tuning fork on, let’s say, a rock and hit it, the tuning fork will play a vibration/note according to that rock. If you were to take a second tuning fork and hit another rock that second tuning fork would play the note of that second rock. Now this is where things get interesting. If both of those tuning forks are playing those notes/vibrations at the same time eventually the one tuning fork will change its note to match the other tuning fork. And then they will play together.
What does this have to do with health?
When you make changes in your health you are changing your vibration. It may have been low but you have raised it with new habits and applied knowledge. You could have lost 10 pounds or are cleaning up your diet. You could have been going to the gym when you used to be very sedentary. When you hold that vibration long enough other people will notice that your vibration is different.
Everybody else in the world also holds a vibration. You could also call it a vibe or energy. When two vibrations meet and they are not on the same note, one vibration will need to change to meet the other in order to soothe the dissonance.
So the question is, who is going to change their vibration? And the second question is, how long can one hold out for the other to change?
It is a lot easier for those who are trying out a new vibration in life like becoming more healthy to drop down into their previous vibration. An example of this could be when a mom goes to wake up their kids in the morning. The mom’s happy to see her kids but her kids wake up ornery. She has tried to change her vibration by being happy but their vibration is low. So what happens? The mom drops her vibration to the kids’ vibration and starts yelling at them instead to get out of bed.
So what would have happened if the mom would have kept up her vibration? Well after a certain couple of minutes when the kids have really woken up they will probably raise their vibration to be happy and then they will continue on their morning in a happy positive way.
Here are some personal examples, because these vibration dissonances are happening all the time in our lives:
When I started my health journey I started having a protein shake everyday. My husband gave me a hard time at first saying how gross it looked, and continued in his own vibration of old habits. I held onto my new habit, and about five years later, he had a protein shake.He’s had one almost every day since.
On the flip side of that I was trying to level up my eating game this past year and went on a family vacation with my extended family. When we got to our destination together, the first meal that was offered was not something that was on my meal plan. I was so tired and worn out from traveling, and even though I knew it wasn’t on plan. I ate that meal. It caused a domino effect. The whole trip ended up with me moving back to expected vibrations because I was weak and dropped mine one time. That’s all it took. One time. I dropped my vibration down to what it used to be in many ways besides just my meal plan – from moods, to comments, to birth order roles and expectations. I’m sure you can relate to this. I am not proud of that vacation this past year.
Even after a couple of months since the trip, I don’t look at that vacation very fondly. I wasn’t true to myself and I didn’t keep promises to myself. I also didn’t hold off long enough for my family to raise their vibration because I was scared of what they would think of me or the comments that they would make.
I didn’t remember, but I want you to remember that when others comment about you, it is a direct reflection of them, not you. It is their noticing your vibration has changed and they feel that dissonance. It is their way of trying to regain control of the feelings they are having.
When you get to that point in your health journey of people making comments, be it family, friends, neighbors, etc, check into your vibration. Ask yourself if you would like to drop your vibration back down to where others will feel comfortable and your habits were the ones that didn’t get you to a good place, or would you like to keep your new vibration long enough for others to meet your vibration and for you to continue to feel proud of the work you’ve done?
That is what you are in control of. Hold that vibration.
What are ways to keep that vibration strong?
Honestly, I see the greatest strength come in numbers. Accountability with friends or a coach like me is a great way to hold strong. I meet with my clients to coach once a week and then also have check-ins. But my clients can text me anytime if it is an emergency. That is part of why you need a coach. That cheerleader and coach rooting you on and keeping your high vibration with you. Friends or other family can also do this for you, but tend to also be emotionally bias, so beware of that.
Second is to be honest with those around you. Don’t skirt about the issue. It isn’t their cooking! And even if it was, you are working with your body and mind to level up. When we state out loud what we are working on, we gain strength from new places. It is empowering.
Third, feel free to take some time. Sometimes I need to excuse myself to the bathroom to take a quick minute to check my intentions and habits. You could retreat to your room and do some breathing exercises. Putting space between the action and reaction is helpful. This time also helps you stay present and mindful.
As we head into holidays there will be lots of people who have worked really hard to change their vibration. They have new habits and new lifestyles and maybe a new shape that they are taking back to old energies. Does the term “falling off the bandwagon” ring a bell? That is losing your new vibration and dropping down to expected old ones.
If you really don’t want to come out of the holidays like that, consider setting up a free consultation with me and see if we are a good fit to coach together. I want health for you in body + mind. I am ready for you to take on this new vibration and can be that strength you need as you learn a new lifestyle and go through the learning process 🙂
Fill out the form linked below to get the coaching ball rolling. Those holidays are barreling in fast.
In my personal life I have been studying a lot about loss. In the next couple months I have some big changes coming up in my life as I have known it. I have felt such angst and stress about choosing these changes and implementing them that they have caused a lack of sleep and an inability to function well as a mother and coach.
For one thing, these future changes are my choice instead of something that is forced and two, I have never really done well with change. whenever we would go on an extended break or Holiday from school like Christmas, the first week back of school I would always get sick. This happened a lot in college. When the semesters changed and my routine needed to change, my body would get some sort of cold or flu, and I’d be down for the count and miss days of school. Even though I’m not in school now, whenever there are big changes or big events in my life or family life, I ramp up to them and then afterwards I get sick either mentally or physically.
On a side note, doesn’t this example show that our mental state can affect our physical state. More to come on those thoughts in an article soon.
So with me loving routine these changes have been ridiculously difficult to fathom and make. Therefore I have taken it to some of the doctors that I work with to talk to them about which changes and how much change I need to be able to heal and balance that with keeping myself mentally happy. I love where I’m at right now, but I recognize that some change is good and change will allow me to grow but also heal some health issues I am experiencing.
As I have talked with professionals about these changes my therapist brought to light a syndrome that we want to call the Tom Brady syndrome. It’s something I want to share with you today because it rang so true and felt was easily relatable.
training the mind
I’m going to assume that you know who Tom Brady is and if you don’t go and Google him. In a very short sentence he, being an amazing football player, retired from football and after a short time unretired from football and went back into the game.
As a top football player and a high-performance achiever I can only understand why he went back to football. He loves the dopamine rush and the 100% for filament that he gets from winning a game and being the top performer in his industry and Sport. One can only understand that retiring from that was a severe loss for him and probably caused mental sadness and emotions that he wasn’t used to having because he was so used to all the good emotions that he experienced while playing football and winning.
Interestingly enough, what has happened since he has gone back to the game are also interesting losses. his wife and he have gotten a divorce. His wife was his biggest fan and was a key contributor to his success as a football player. For example, she monitored every little bit of food that went into his mouth so that he was fueled properly and also was in charge of making sure he had boundaries so he could recover.Something else that has happened since coming back to the game, he’s losing.
So I want to discuss 3 points about the Tom Brady syndrome that you can see in what Tom Brady is going through right now.
The Tank
The first point is called the tank. The tank is where a professional is at the top of their career and due to age, injury, circumstances or other professionals coming into the same industry, etc, this professional starts to tank in their success rate and is not at the top of their game or career anymore.
With Tom Brady coming back out of retirement and losing all of these games is showing that he is starting to tank.
So the question for you is: should Tom Brady finish his career of football at the high or should he continue in football as he tanks and finish at a low? What do you think that would do to his mental health as well as the story that people will tell about him for years to come?
The next question there would be where are you at and your career? Do you think you have reached your Peak do you think you still have room to grow or do you think you are in the tank?
I have noticed in my personal Journey that due to the injuries and health problems I’m experiencing, I am in the tank. I have not been able to give what I used to be able to give and it has been discouraging and sad. I appreciated the advice that I received to not tank fully and exit at the low but to exit at the high.Honestly I think when we exit at a high we can look back with fond memories and there is closure.
The Acceptance
The second point is called acceptance. The acceptance is the concept that after we leave or turn away from our original trajectory and goal we might experience loss in the manner that whatever we do instead might not be as fulfilling as the thing we did first.
For Tom Brady, he probably should go out and buy a football team. That’s the closest thing that he could do to recreate the happiness that he experienced as the football player. However he probably will only be able to receive 90% of his fulfillment back compared to the 100% that he might have gotten as a player himself. That is part of loss.
It is good for us to recognize that in Los we may not be able to get back to the hundred percent fulfillment that we had. Very rarely will somebody experience something that is better than what they were originally doing when they were at the top of their game.
If you are aware of this you would be grasping for straws and probably looking outside of yourself for inner peace. Just like Tom Brady coming back out of retirement. He probably couldn’t find something that would fulfill him just as much as playing football did and he didn’t know how to handle that and sit with that. Then he has the consequence of losing his wife now because he chose to come back out of retirement and that is not what she wanted or was told would happen.
For me, I don’t know what is coming next after my changes but I do appreciate this concept. I used to dance ballroom at BYU and competed professionally and was doing very well. I stopped dancing because my body could not get pregnant due to how much physical work I was putting in to dance every day. When I stopped I experienced a severe depression for a long time. For years I couldn’t even watch the progress of my fellow dancers because I knew where I “should have been” in the dance world. I don’t think anything I have done in the dance realm since has been as fulfilling as being a competitor on the dance floor and winning. It still hurts 13 years later and now having an understanding that fulfillment might not reach capacity has helped me release the pain because of those expectations being replaced with acceptance.
The Vacuum
The final concept of the Tom Brady syndrome is the vacuum. And on a side note, I’m grateful for spell check, because I still don’t know how to spell vacuum without help. LOL.
The vacuum is where when you take something out of your life it will put a force into the universe that will pull something new into that empty space.
Tom Brady had a really big empty space because he had a very big, successful, Limelight career. Again oh, he didn’t have the tools nor the patience to wait for something else to come along to fill that space.
Along with that I feel like if we understand that there will be a vacuum we can be looking for opportunities and we can recognize that some opportunities will be good ones and some will be bad ones or destructive ones that will not help us.
When covid shut my job down as a group fitness instructor there was a big loss there. I was tumbled into this space that created a vacuum and needed to be filled. Some of the things that filled that space were good and I’ll talk about those in a second, but some of them were not so good. I didn’t eat well. I lost a lot of my discipline and my hope for the future. In fact, I think that I am still recovering from what that vacuum brought to me and what I chose. Now like I said, some of those opportunities were good ones. I ended up taking clients virtually during covid and really laid a good foundation to be a personal trainer and nutrition coach online. if it weren’t for covid and that loss I would not have had that space replaced.
Right now I don’t know what is going to fill the space from the loss that I am going to incur in the next couple of months. I was feeling anxious about that. There are a lot of what-ifs. But I am finding that because of the awareness that there is a vacuum I am handling the unknown a lot better. In fact, there’s a part of me that is really looking forward to what might open up for me in opportunities that are constructive and helpful to me and the next season of My Life.
So finishing up, let’s review the Tom Brady syndrome. The Tom Brady syndrome has three main facets. The first facet is the tank, the second is the acceptance, And the third is the vacuum.
Maybe you can look back on a couple of your losses and think about these three aspects. Then, being aware of these three aspects when you go into a new loss, which will happen because we are all mortal and human, maybe, because you have awareness of them you will be able to more gracefully and strongly handle your next loss in a way that will help you come out of that more refined and better.
At least that is my hope because I am seeing that work in my own life.
Along with the last episode we add another tool for you to help create and live a life you love. Today we are talking about fence posts. Want to know how this all ties in? Give it a listen below.
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We ask the questions, what are you choosing to see or unsee? Is it what you’d like to see in your life? Do you see lots of negative in your life? Did you know the good stuff is already there and you can easily see it with a simple shift in your gaze? We teach you how on today’s podcast.
We are diving into our focus with a great football test my girls and I saw on a show the other night. A good example of it can be found by clicking here. Our brain is extremely smart and will only see what is important. It is wired to forget or unsee what isn’t. The best part? You get to choose what you want to see!
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Our bodies are the instruments of our spirits and we cannot be without them. This week we look at movement and how we can add more into our days to create a higher calorie burn but also to help us have a more fulfilling life. Can’t wait to share with you!
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